What does friendship mean?

What does friendship mean? Is it for company? Is it for 'a shoulder to cry on'? Is it happy moments? Is it doomed for betrayal? Is it for 'you are my friend' when I need you? Or...

Friendship is not easy. Sometimes, I just wish to be close to a person, to let the person know I care but at the same time I don't want to be too close because we tend to take advantage of each other. How long will we still appreciate each other? How do you stop a friendship from growing? It's painful to be hurt by close friends. And for so many times. Sometimes, I wonder if the problem is me. God, please 'prune' me if it's my problem. I really don't know. Since secondary school to Uni in Malacca to Uni in Cyber to church... I've been hurt many times. It's not little instances. But it always comes to a major and hurtful one till I just can't stop my tears. Major hurts don't happen just because someone did something wrong just once. it accumulates till a certain point where I can only say, "That's it, I can't take it anymore."

But I really thank God, by His grace and mercy, I can really forgive every one of them. But everytime, I let go and be open to try again, it happens again. Why? It came to a point last year, where I told myself I am not going to have just 1 best friend but I'll have many close (NOT BEST) friends and in my heart, everyone of them will be really important to me and I care a lot for them. It's not easy to show everyone how much I care and I am not good at expressing either, but I know God knows.

Something happened today and made me terribly disappointed. So sad till I cried so badly. Poor Paul had to see me cry and couldn't do much. He just told me... anyone can hurt and disappoint me including him. Only God will never disappoint us. only HE can satisfy us. I know that, I really know that. But because God gives us hope so I believe there's always hope for different individuals. That's why I never gave up on trusting friends though I've failed again and again - because there's a hope in me for that person. I believe we will change and have a lasting friendship.

Jesus is our greatest friend. Only He can satisfy us...

   What a friend we have in Jesus, 
 all our sins and griefs to bear! 
 What a privilege to carry 
 everything to God in prayer! 
 O what peace we often forfeit,
 O what needless pain we bear, 
 all because we do not carry 
 everything to God in prayer. 

        Have we trials and temptations? 
 Is there trouble anywhere? 
 We should never be discouraged; 
 take it to the Lord in prayer. 
 Can we find a friend so faithful 
 who will all our sorrows share? 
 Jesus knows our every weakness; 
 take it to the Lord in prayer. 

        Are we weak and heavy laden, 
 cumbered with a load of care? 
 Precious Savior, still our refuge; 
 take it to the Lord in prayer. 
 Do thy friends despise, forsake thee? 
 Take it to the Lord in prayer! 
 In his arms he'll take and shield thee; 
 thou wilt find a solace there.