But Still You Forgive...
Actually I've been struggling spiritually for about 10months. It had been a really tough time. It has just been so hard to 'climb up' again. I've never gone through this before. It was not the regular "down" times. Everything seems blunt. Disappointed... discouraged... depressed... Maybe people might not see it but those who are close to me realized. I didn't know they realize till they asked me recently. I was struggling badly inside every moment. Guilt was all over me.
I really want to thank God for Eunice who has been a great friend. A few months back, I emailed her to ask for prayers. She is that "all-time-there for you" friend who will pray wi
thout asking what's really going on. That time I knew I truly needed prayers but I didn't want to talk about what's going on cos I personally didn't really know what was wrong. Yet, I was depressed. I didn't want to share anything about this to anyone (not like me). I knew Eunice will pray for me without asking much.When my spiritual life was down, eventually my emotions got affected. I totally agree that our spiritual life affects emotionally, mentally and physically. I just can't live without God. Never a time that I went thru this tough time, thinking of giving up my relationship with God cos He has been so evident to me. During this tough time, He used ways to get me back on my feet. My father's salvation was one of His great works that kept me going.
Looking back, I really thank God that since last week, things have gotten better. Finally! Don't know how things just turned around suddenly. It's as if the clouds lifted and I see a bright light. I know there's a purpose behind this experience.
I also want to thank God cos today He gave me opportunities to share about His great love. I totally agree that as we share more about Him, we ourselves will be encouraged. God has been really good to me. Despite my unfaithfulness, He has been faithful.
When I was driving to work last week, this song... this song has ministered to my heart.
All for love a Father gave
For only love could make a way
All for love heavens cried
For love was crucified
Oh how many times have I broken Your heart
But still You forgive
If only I ask
And how many times have You heard me pray
Draw near to me
Everything I need is You
My beginning, my forever
Everything I need is You
Let me sing all for love
I will join the angel song
Ever holy is the Lord
King of Glory
King of all
All for a love a Saviour prayed
Abba Father have Your way
Though they know not what they do
Let the Cross draw man to You
For only love could make a way
All for love heavens cried
For love was crucified
Oh how many times have I broken Your heart
But still You forgive
If only I ask
And how many times have You heard me pray
Draw near to me
Everything I need is You
My beginning, my forever
Everything I need is You
Let me sing all for love
I will join the angel song
Ever holy is the Lord
King of Glory
King of all
All for a love a Saviour prayed
Abba Father have Your way
Though they know not what they do
Let the Cross draw man to You
posted by poreiz @ 11:31 PM
6 your take
6 Comments:
You are slave to your emotions and feelings and you do not even realise it. When you "feel" better, you think that your "spiritual struggle" is "lifted". Really? And when you feel disappointed, discouraged, you think you are "struggling". Goodness. What religion are you practicing? And what on earth is "spiritual struggle"?? Struggle with what? All this is so airy fairy. Like all things in life, feelings and emotions are impermanent. They come and go. And they come again and they go. You must learn to not get caught up in them. And what caused them? Conditionings (your past, your environment, your family upbringing etc). Are you even aware of these? If you are not, I guarantee you that you will continue to "struggle" endlessly and you will be none the wiser 10, 20 years down the road. You must learn to understand how your mind operates and how your emotions and feelings are all triggered by your thoughts. Without this awareness, there will be no lasting peace and you will be going in circles.
this is very interesting conversation. who is this anonymous person who repeatedly chooses to remain anonymous. i wonder why.
sounds like u've been through quite a bit there, anonymous, but i won't pretend to know what it is.. like i wont pretend to know what hazel went through may be deeper than she's telling.
i guess we will never really know and can never really judge or advise now can we?
lets go back to the root or our emotions and thoughts now shall we. and deal with that first.
Dear spiritual seeker,
Thanks for the honesty of your comments. I just want to clarify that I do not link my emotions to my spiritual state. I believe God allow us to go through tough times to help us mature spiritually. If I link my current state of emotion to spirituality, then I agree with you - I will be none more mature 10 years down the line. But you see, I have no reason to be emotionally down. i'm surrounded by friends and family. i have a job i love. nothing's perfect, but nothing to really get me "down". my past...
yes, i had a fairly rough past but God has given me much needed peace since i became a Christian. no, I don't think I'm in denial. what i've been feeling over the last year was not sparked by my emotional state. but it did cause me to feel really down. but thanks for taking the time to be so candid. now allow me to be candid. You don't know me and you can tell that I'm a slave to my feelings and emotions? how do you do that? : )
how do i know? we all are. some hide it better than others. but nonetheless all of us are slave to our thoughts, emotions and feelings. just that most of us don't realise it. and we think our emotions, feelings, thoughts, opinions are real. but are they? take a small exercise. step back and observe your thoughts, emotions and feelings during the course of a day. just observe. don't get carried away by them and don''t judge them. just observe. tell me if i am wrong - thoughts, emotions and feelings are hardly stable. they come, they disappear, they morph, they change. often for no apparent reason and with no relation to what you are doing. as if they have a life of their own. and we often take them for real and let them define who you are. that's a recipe for frustrations and unhappiness. by the way, how do you judge your "spiritual state"? by what yardstick? compared to what? or to whom? unhappiness often arises because (i) you do not have what you want or (ii) you dislike what you have and you are stuck with it or (iii) you are bored to your bones with things. often it is a combination of some or all of these 3. so you are either running towards things you like or want, or running away from things you dislike or do not want or bored with things as they are. and thus, you like the guinea pig running furiously and going nowhere.......
mm hou lei lah.
gok yan yau gok yan geh lam fatt.
yau tit hai juin tang yiu jing lei lau.
*hee*
ngo dou fai si lei kui le
mou si wan si lei gao ge
ngo dei ji gei ji bing go hai ye sou ma dak lor
Praise the LORD!!!!! horhor...
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